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Showing posts with the label Crap

Dirty Stinkin' Commies! (And Other Improprieties)

    So it has come down to it at last. The final nail in the coffin. The ending waltz on the dance floor. The last Pringle in the can. Or something. Either way, we have sworn in another president, we have upheld our particularly American brand of Democracy, and we are all certainly awaiting every politician to be taken into custody, executed, and then for Trump to rule forever. Q just has to be correct right? The track record is.... stunning? Pictured: Q at his computer, or something. Creator: Rembrandt  |  Credit: Hermitage     Either way, our country has reached the dawning of a new administration. An event that has happened 45 previous times, and will undoubtedly happen many many more. But along the way, there was a bit of... discourse, if you could call it that. Most of it was spurned on by the greatest of all threats in this day and age, the Keyboard Warriors. Yes, this multi-class, 12th level, 5h Edition DnD champion has, for the last 5-6 ye...

Handmaiden's Tale was not Supposed to be a Handbook

I would first like to thank everyone for reading my recent post about my father. It meant a lot to me that so many would be moved by my thoughts and words about someone who meant so much in my life. Now though, my thoughts are clearer, my sadness has receded somewhat, and I am ready to come back into the world. Lets see what I missed... (All Rights held by The New York Times) Oh for f^@&s sake... Abortion has been a hot bed topic in America for a vast number of years. Ever since crusty old politicians realized that they could extend their grimy fingers into the lives of others, some have tried to use this power to push their own religious and personal beliefs. And while some people (ed note: Smart people) would say that a politicians place is to enforce and enact the will of the people they represent, others will chime in and say this is how it's always been done. And so, I welcome back my guest from my first post ever, Abraham Lincoln , to offer us a sage quote ...

"In Their Language, Arrows Mean Hello."

So this topic may be considered insensitive, but hear me out until the end before lighting the tiki torches. (ed note: I'm allergic to fire) Aren't tiki torches racist now? Is this worse?  A couple weeks ago, a would be missionary named John Chau set out on a pilgrimage to the North Sentinel Island in the Bay of Bengal , in the Indian Ocean . He was attempting to contact the tribe to spread Christianity, and, ostensibly, convert them to followers and members of modern society. Upon arriving, he was shot at with several warning arrows and forced to leave, however, he returned later on in the week, and was no longer warned, being killed with multiple arrows on the spot. Now, I feel I don't have to tell anyone of the dire ramifications of trying to march up to people currently shooting arrows at you, but nonetheless, he did, and is no longer living due to this action. While it may sound cold, the further problems with this story will reveal why exactly I, as well as ...

State of Our Disunion

.... And in summation, that's how you fix all of our political and humanitarian issues. Thank you for reading for the past 2 months. This series has been a big one. Twelve blog posts. Just amazing what steady viewership and dedication will brin- .... (ed note: What do you mean they haven't been posting? What do you mean they haven't even been SAVING?! YOU MEAN I HAVEN'T BEEN ACTIVE HERE FOR 2 MONTHS?!?! MOTHE@$@^&@^@*()$)*(!^(97278^&!*(@!!!!) Well... this is awkward. It seems that my creative juices needed a pick me up. Yeah. That's what I'll go with. Lets get onto the post. It's about one of my favorite topics: sadness and misery in the world! Yaaaay! ... I need a drink.... 52 Shirley Temples later. So for those who have been living under a rock, or at least have the better sense to not listen to ANY news nowadays, a several thousand people strong caravan of refugees and immigrants has slowly been making its way across Central American ...

The New Mythologies - Part 3: I Cut Myself on all this Edge

      "Darkness. Apathy. Rage. Penance. This is my world. All those whom tread my path will know my suffering. I shall inflict upon evil what evil has inflicted upon me. No more Mr. Niceguy. I will become a paragon of the blade of justice. I shall break upon my foes the same pains that weigh me down. Never again shall those who I fight for fear the night. For I am the night. I am John-Paul Valley, and I am Batman. I shall strike fear upon the wicked. And they will learn to fear my unholy visage... " OH GOD! BURN IT! BURN IT!!! The 90's were... an interesting time. Fashion went out the window. Slang was denser and wackier than ever. Television and music was either total nonsense, or completely serious and adult, with little in between. And comics.... oh sweet comics. This was a dark time indeed. What you see above, is the 90's re-imagining of Batman . Yes, I will apologize on behalf of DC . While this unholy abomination was bad, it was BY FAR not the worst i...